So lately alot of things have been going on in my life. Not exactly good things either, I'm not quite sure what i did for the Universe to give me such a huge slap in the face. By no means am i saying i'm a saint because clearly that i'm not. But lately It seems like every time a new day begins, a new problem arises. If it's not one thing it's another and let me tell you something that ive learned in this past week IT REALLY IS A TERRIFYING SMALL WORLD. It's getting to the point that i get out of bed as late as i possibly could and i'm not saying that i'm sleeping because i have been awake for officially 3 days now. Believe me when i say i have tried everything to go to bed but nothing will work last night i even counted sheep (clearly that does not work). During the day when i must run errands, go to school, or work (blah) starbucks usually gets me through the day. I guess stress would be a big reason why i haven't been sleeping, whenever i am stressed or having problems in my life my body spazzes out as to tell myself to calm the fuck down. I have been throwing up and getting dizzy spells, NO i'm not pregnant haha that is just how my body reacts to stress for some reason. Clearly i do a very good job of hiding what i'm feeling because i'm positive no one knows how unhappy i am lately, or some of you have noticed but decide to turn the other cheek, which is fine. It really is a scary feeling when you realize that you truly are alone in this world and you can't 100% count on anyone but yourself. I would really appreciate it if my close friends wouldn't get offended by what i'm saying, most of you don't turn your back on purpose and some of you i guess just don't care. If you feel like i'm taking a dig at you with that last sentence, then you probably haven't been a very good friend lately. And i feel like even if i were to yell at you really loud I'M SAD!, you still wouldn't get it. I really don't understand people lately i consider myself an extremely good friend I'm a great listener and give really REALLY good advice, and if one of my friends is having problems of any sort i go above an beyond to help and now that i need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on there's nothing.Well shit happens right?!? you can't dwell too much on the bad things in life just move on and hope for the best. Well, *sigh* venting really does help i feel a little bit better and sorry if this is way too depressing but sometimes it's good to just put your feelings out there. Don't worry if you see me in person i'll be wearing a smile. -- Smiling truly is the best disguise ..
It can only go up from here.. Right?!?
Jewelz
